14 years later

Today is our 14th anniversary. That is crazy and insane in more ways than I can count. We were babies when we got married. At least I was. Ben thinks he still looks like this. I hate to burst his bubble, but it makes me laugh that he does. 

Last night at bible study (we loosely call it bible study because about half the time we just sit around and talk about life - which is what I need more than anything somtimes.) We talked about marriage and how hard it is. We talked about some things that were terribly hard, and sometime devastating for us in different seasons of marriage. How we feel like we're still married because there were certain points that they only reason we stayed is because the Lord wouldn't let us go. We laughed so hard at some of those things that were enormous struggles and mountains to climb at the time. We talked about  how there should not only pre-marriage counseling there should also be post-marriage counseling. Because in pre-marriage counseling you think you'll be the best communicators ever and lovingly work out all differences and never hurt the one you love. You'll let your husband lead and the wife will submit. And then real life happens. It was a blessing to me to hear about the struggles and victories these sweet friends have faced and see them still standing. And oh my did we laugh so hard!

At lunch yesterday, Ben and I were talking about this year of marriage. We both feel that this year we are finally beginning to get each other. It only took us this long! We understand the patterns of our marriage and how to serve each other better. We know better when we need to give each other space and when to pick up the pace. We know that the tense and stressful times won't last forever and sometimes we need to work a little harder and be more intentional to move through those. The lows are less low. That is a very safe place to be. And I like this place - a lot.

So, to celebrate, we had lunch yesterday at Pies and Pints and bought some flowers at Lowe's to plant in the backyard. I stayed home with a puking kid today. We will put everyone to bed by 8pm and catch up on NCIS. And I'm completely great with that.

Happy 14th Anniversary, Ben Tuel!