no words

Maybe it's because I have an education background that I am still in shock over the events at Sandy Hook Elementary School last Friday. Maybe it's because I did ministry with small children for several years, that my heart grieves so much for their parents, siblings and families. Maybe it's because we've done ministry with junior high and high school kids for so long that I seem to really struggle to grasp how or why something like this could happen. Or maybe it's because I have a 7 year old son in 1st grade that my heart is broken and maybe just a little scared.

This scripture has been me this week because I have been without words:

 "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express."  - Romans 8:26 (NIV84).

I have never in my life hurt so badly for complete strangers. I've never felt something so far away so personally. It has been a very emotional and gut wrenching thing for me. Not in a dramatic way that is from watching too much media. But in a very realistic way of understanding this exists in the world, this could be anywhere, this could be my child.

Over the past days I've tried to process as much as I can with as much truth as I can. Two things have really helped:

I listened to a radio interview that Andy Stanley did on an Atlanta radio station. I think I found it via twitter. (I'm kind of done with Facebook after all this - too much of too many things). There are some very good truths to listen to and let sink deep. (Scroll down to the 3rd place to listen).

The other is a blog post by Lisa TerKeurst on how to pray. I was talking with my friend Bethany yesterday and she said she wanted to commit to praying for these families for a year. I said I would join her, and I would use this as a guideline of how to begin to pray.

My heart is so sad. Just so sad. After the media leaves and everything goes back to "normal", their lives will be anything but normal. I want to continue to remember these families. I want to pray that God would bind up their broken hearts. That they would find rest and peace and hope in Jesus and that there would be redemption in such deep, deep loss.